Malaysia is a strange place. One side of a street will be like a third-world country, and the other side like London. Part Soho, part Westminster. And rather problematically, the beer is expensive.
If you're travelling long term on a shoestring budget, it is not the best idea to latch onto rich people. The two Californian girls = rich. The two Germans = on a 3 week holiday so spending and travelling at an increased rate. And if you travel with these people you inevitably end up doing as they do, spending as they spend. And when they're back home earning money again, you're left counting the cost of your excursions. Henceforth, I have spent my two month budget for Asia in just one month.
And also when travelling, try to keep track of what day it is. Because if you end up spending all your money on your card and need someone back home to urgently transfer some more funds across, picking a Saturday is a bad time to do so. The banks are closed. And again on Sunday. And if the transfer also takes 2-3 working days to complete, working out on a Saturday that you have only 20pounds left in your account means that you will only have 20pounds until Thursday. And getting excited beacuse you've found a bar showing football and spending 10pounds of your remaining 20 on beer on a Sunday night is not a clever thing to do either...
So hungover and penniless, I have nothing to do other than write. No more beer for Simon this week. Just crackers and other cheap, shit food. I can't even pay for my accommodation until the end of the week which they appear non-too thrilled about. Just crackers and butter, spread with my pen knife. If it wasn't for that bloody motorbike crash I could be out partying right now. I blame the Germans, but then again, I always do.. And hey, only regret the things that you didn't do.
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So I was doing it. Travelling hundreds of miles over two days to go meet the two people who just three days ago I had been almost glad to see the back of. Turns out I had liked the Germans, though it pains me to say so. The fact that they didn't drink didn't actually matter because we had a laugh. The banter was great. With Andy it was anyway, Vinz didn't really understand the concept.
"Are you also mean to and joke about your friends back home?"
He was confused as to why I kept taking the piss out of Andy's trousers. 'Aladdin's Lederhosen' as I had dubbed them. Baggy things with the crotch starting below the knee.
'Now I know that aint for cock space'
'Do you not like his trousers?"
Oh Vinz. You are a lost cause here. You will never understand.
A 3 hour bus from Pai to Chiang Mai, a 13 hour sleeper train to Bangkok (disappointingly with no bathroom party this time), a 12 hour wait in Bangkok station - because the station is in probably the worst area in the whole of Bangkok. Two tramps to every one other person. So it's best to just stay inside, plus it's prettier in there..- then a 12 hour bus to Surat Thani, and then a 3 hour boat to the island of Koh Phagnan. The boat was great. I sat on the front of the boat, basking in the sunshine, for the duration of the journey. And with being at sea, there was a breeze so it wasn't too hot. But that is dangerous beacuse you cannot tell, as I didn't, that you are burning.
I got to Phagnan and scoured all the touts for some accommodation whilst I waited for the German's boat, which to my suprise turned out not to be a U-boat, to arrive from Koh Tao. Here come my two favourite Germans. It isn't hard, I hate every other one.
"Hey there Mr. Sunburn."
-They had picked up on my referencing of objects with the prefix of 'Mr.' and thought it was funny. (Mr. Towel, Mr.Gecko, Mr. Coconut etc.) And now Andy was using it to mock me. Mr. Sunburn. The bastard. I hated Germans again.
Accommodation sorted. A Bungalow hut on the beach. 600baht. 200each. 4quid for a hut on the beach. And a good beach at that. White sand, light blue sea and nobody else on it. Perfect. And a hammock hung in our porchway. I was going to be missing parties galore in Pai, but here I had my own hammock on the beach. I was pleased with my decision, even if it did come with an underlying smell of wiener schnitzel.
"Boys, today I will be doing nothing. I've been travelling for two days now and there is a hammock here with my name on it. So if you want me, you know where I'll be"
I don't know what they did that day. I didn't care. I was in my hammock with my iPod on. I was settled. I could have laid there for weeks and would never have got bored. The only time I moved that day was to go get some beer from the shop and then returned, with my beer, to the hammock.
The next day was of a similar ilk. A walk around the local town - not much going on there. A swim in the sea and a lot more hammock time (like hammer time but a lot less annoying). I was content to be doing this for the whole week but Germany's answers to Mr. Motivator were bored so the next day we were to rent motorbikes and drive round the island to see what we could find.
Hmm motorbikes are surely not as comfy as hammocks I thought. I was correct on that front. But they are a hell of a lot more fun. They are also, however, a lot more expensive than hammocks when you crash them.
I experienced both.
The hammock collapsed - I'm scared of hammocks now.
Motorbikes it is then...
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